Boundaries - upholding them isn't easy

A while ago I had a date with a very interesting man, and while I enjoyed the date, afterwards it left me feeling anxious and I just wanted to run away and hide. 

I wasn't sure what was driving this feeling. When I looked at it logically there was nothing in his actions to create that feeling. He didn't do anything "wrong", in-fact he had done many things "right". Despite knowing this, the anxiety was overwhelming.

All I can say is how grateful I am for the supportive loving women I have in my life.
Through some discussions and internal deep diving, I was able to identify what was driving the feeling.
The anxiety was being driven by the fact that during that date I had stepped over some boundaries I had set for myself. And that feeling was eating me up inside. 

I hadn't upheld an agreement I'd made with myself to protect and honour me. 

Once I identified what it was, I then had to be brave enough to raise the experience with him. 
Another agreement I've made to myself is to explore having uncomfortable conversations with people in my life, especially partners or potential partners, begin as you intend to go on. 
If I didn't I would be repeating old patterns that don't lead me to the full expanded version of myself.
The act of having an uncomfortable conversations is something I identified was missing from my previous marriage. It meant that we had more of a surface level relationship and it left me feeling empty and alone. 

So I chose bravery, didn't put it off, and spoke with this gentleman.
And...the conversation was beyond what I had expected. He was very supportive, open and asked for ways that he can also help me maintain this boundary.  

I share this story with you to get you thinking about what boundaries and agreements you made with yourself?

Making them is the easy bit, its the follow through that's hard!

This experience taught me a lot about how my body speaks to me when I overstep a boundary. It was screaming at me and I was a bit clueless. All I knew was that I had an "anxious" feeling. I've had it in the past, but I didn't put the pieces together. Now I know. I recognise and I will do better in the future. - probably not perfectly but I am learning. 

How does your body speak to you when you have crossed a boundary?

What can you do to support yourself to maintain your boundaries, to take the actions that help you express the fullest and most powerful version of yourself?

The most important thing is to Fill Your Own Cup. I know, I know, so much easier said than done, but every little bit of filling adds up. 

What actions you can do on a regular basis that make you feel good? These are the things that fill your cup.

Is it gardening, colouring, dancing, painting, singing, exercising... the list is endless. But it is generally something that when you do it, you feel alive and energised. 

Mine is dancing, especially ecstatic dance. It just makes me feel soooooo good, free and empowered. Transforms a shitty day into something more manageable (often even a full transformation to joy).    

I also have a daily ritual of applying essential oils and I use these to help me to level up in my life. To raise my frequency and help to hold that cleaner/clearer energy. I have been an aromatherapist for over 20 years so essential oils are one of my go to tools. 

For the last 2 months, I've been using my oil blend Worthy as my daily ritual oil. I apply it on my neck every day and remind myself that I am worthy or more. Of receiving and accepting more financially, more support, more trust/surrender, whatever it is that day I feel that I am lacking. 

I went through a period of using Infinite Power Essential Oil Blend as it helped me to balance out my nervous system and lower my stress levels. (This one I put on the back of my neck).
I encourage you to make the time to do something that fills you up and gives you the fortification to be brave in your life and follow through on the agreements and boundaries you have set for yourself in your life.