Life is full of depth. It's a mashup of our joys, hopes and fears, successes, failures and learnings. The garden of our life is a reflection of the seeds we planted and ones we watered, vs the ones we haven't.
Being a woman is complicated. Having the ability to bring life into this world comes with a rollercoaster of experiences.
I recently came across this powerful ad from Body Form, a pad company in the UK, but this ad talks about how "it's never just a period" and it really connected with me.
It's a topic that as women we all experience, but don't have many conversations about, because it's never just a period.
You can watch the ad here (it keeps getting taken down so if this link doesn't work just search "it's never just a period" ).
Through my life my period has represented so many hopes, fears, waiting, pain, uncomfortableness, embarrassment and shame.
It can some times feel like we are cursed.
There can be a celebration or devastation when it arrives.
This part of our bodies influences so much of our lives.
This ad captures it beautifully, with raw honesty and it makes me tear up every time I watch it. I want to weep for all the ups and downs that I have experienced. The shame, the disappointments, the awkwardness, the embarrassing moments and eventually the acceptance and peace.
My body is heading into its next phase of evolution - commonly known as peri-menopause and it triggered in me a whole host of fears, uncertainly and doubts.
I'm watching and experiencing my body changing again and I've been terrified that I've misstepped in my life and that its too late.
My youthful beauty has evolved. My skin is settling into my bones, and it's showing my life experiences. I'm here with my mum body, some joints that don't quite respond as well as I would like them too (yes I'm talking about you right knee!).
It's easy to let the fears focus on the negative, but I keep reminding myself that I've got my back. I do actions to fulfil myself daily, and this fortifies my sense of self.
I am acknowledging these fears, allowing myself to experience them, but letting them pass, not holding on and making up stories.
I now consciously reflect on my life, look at my patterns and the way I view myself is changing. I'm realising I have a ferocious appetite to live the next phase of my life from a foundation of joy and self expression.
It's not over. I haven't "missed out" on anything, (even if the fear voice wants to interject every now and then).
I am learning to view my self and my life choices through the lens of grace, compassion and forgiveness.
And my bucket of F#%^s is getting lighter and lighter 🤣. I guess that is one of the benefits of age, we care less what other people think so we are more able to express what we truly desire.
But it's been a great reminder that when we have a "reaction" or a "trigger" to an event or happening in our lives, it's never just that thing that we are reacting to.
It's a combination of so many different things that have built up over time and have culminated right then and there and then ignited a response.
The hardest part, and the most rewarding, is to look deeper to what is fear that is being triggered.
Sometime I just sit (on the toilet is a good place becasue you are already sitting 🤣) and say out loud "I'm feeling ..." and then I just run through emotions till I feel a reaction (I often feel tears well).
"I'm feeling angry"
"I'm feeling upset"
"I'm feeing lonely"
"I'm feeling scared" .. bingo it gets a response.
Then I change the questions
"I'm feeling scared about/of ..." and start listing a bunch of things my your life.
Once I get clarity of what it is that I'm feeling scared about I can then step back from it. Observing it means I'm not all tangled up in the emotions and at that point I can become rational about it rather than emotional.
And then I begin to coach myself through it.
"It's ok you are feeling scared about ...
But you've been through this before.
I've got you. You're not alone. You have friends or family (name them) who will help you with this. It's ok. You're ok and this feeling will pass."
Watch this video as I take you through this process.
Once I get clarity about what it is, then it untangles the mess I've made in my head and I can observe the behaviour and the pressure goes out of the experience. I'm no longer a child trapped in an emotion or feeling, I'm able to approach it from a mature mind and supports and loves myself.
Another thing to take some time to look at while in the process is to reflect and see if this reaction/feeling is a pattern or a repeating behaviour that's triggering that re-action in yourself.
Now you don't have to do all of this alone, but it's a great starting point.
I am a woman who is big on sharing her experiences and stories, and I do like to talk through and process my emotions with my friends to help sort out the jumble in my head.
And I get that's not everyones jam, but having women who get you, love you and are there for you as you journey through life is priceless, and it takes courage and vulnerability to forge those bonds.
❤️❤️ Catherine